Communication….
it’s like the Easter Bunny or unchippable fingernail polish, it does not really exist. Plato couldn’t even define truth after all the time he spent listening to Socrates drone on about reality & caves; so how the hell am I supposed to be able to figure this shit out???
***Oh & if your here for a favorite animal conversation that title was misleading, not even planning to talk about it (but it might be the aye aye pictured above)*** random!!!
I have had the some of the most bizarre conversations with boys lately. I walk away or get off the phone all smiles then about exactly & randomly 4 hours later something will pop out like fuckin Where’s Waldo!!! It’s so smooth that I don’t even think I can replicate it really, but here is my best try:
What Boy says: your so pretty & smart (I went on a date with this other girl) I think that you are special, amazing really (it was just dinner & I don’t know if I like her or anything) I like spending time with you (I told her about you) maybe this will turn into something great someday (I would tell you if I kissed her, it’s no big deal) we should hang out soon (but only if I’m not already going on another date) I like that your really nice….
The magic is what I heard: your pretty & special, I hope that this is going somewhere….
Laying in bed, nearly asleep, that is when my brain registered all the words!!! What? Why did you need to tell me you went on a date? Guys are like word ninjas!!! I heard it, but I didn’t listen because I was busy listening to the pretty words it was camouflaged in! Ah the reality of communication.
Here’s a tip for guys. There are some truths that as girls we know, deep down we are well aware but dont need to hear the words. If your dating a smart girl & you are not in that place of a mutually exclusive relationship, we don’t need to know every time you talk to another girl. You have sex, ya, disclosure is good, but if you are just out looking for something better before settling on my hot body (haha!) i don’t need to actually hear the words, because when you do finally settle it might just feel a little more like:
‘eh, nothin better came along so what the hell, wanna go steady?’ woot woot!
So I was sitting there in bed feeling kinda jealous & then I started laughing. I am a little tired & stressed in my defense, I realized I was jealous not of some other chick, but of the time that she got!!! I wanted that time damnit (kick wall, pout, mine….) LOL!
I am taking this whole dating thing for face value right now. I am not looking for any deep feelings that aren’t there, no signs, not trying to change anyone, I won’t make excuses for inadequacies. Maybe neither Plato or I can define Truth but I am doing my best to at least figure out how to spot the bullshit 🙂 eh… Not my greatest skill being all trusting & gullible!
So this communication word ninja boy stuff made me start to think of some of the other conversations of recent that make the boy/girl, Venus/Mars, jackass/girl differences so apparent. I will pick on someone else though 😉 ah Mayberry. I don’t want to put too much of this unknown, undefined stuff up. I like to pretend puppies & rainbows, if I have to write it I have to try to figure it out… That doesn’t sound fun! Ignorance is bliss for now, I think I will try to tell him politely not to pull the Jedi word tricks out anymore! Tricky Mayberry!!!
So let’s do a little wiggle time warp back to a dark place where I have said goodbye, the end, a couple times & yet in the pet cemetery of my dating life, this one keeps coming back!!!! (maybe I should start calling him Gage! Ah, Achilles tendon…. Oh that’s too freaky!!!) anywho, I thought I was getting a client call, but no, Cali got a new phone number & I suddenly find myself frozen without anything to say to this voice coming out of my phone about wanting to be friends, that we had something amazing & I don’t have to be cold, cutting him off. I am torn because he is right, I don’t have to cut him off. Here is this guy who I loved so grandly, no one else has ever made me feel so loved, he had to walk away for his own reasons, his own life, can you be mad about that? I let him go so what is the harm of being his friend, I will never understand why this is so important to him, I cannot convince him that we don’t need to be in contact.
So we are friends…. I think I will to be continued the slightly hilarious 2 plus hour phone call that came from that decision… The questions that it raised, the revelations & the odd sense of peace that I found from that decision for tomorrow.
I do want to apologize (I am a selfish bitch really) to the amazingly kind (& always funnier than me which is kinda irritating) bloggers that have nominated me (I am sure just to mock me) or given me (because I paid them) a number of awards that I have not followed through on (because I am obviously way to busy screwing up my own psyche) I promise that I will find a way to (pull my head outta my ass) follow through & give the proper thanks (where I will have to direct others back to the funnier kids & then to new funnier kids… Sigh)
That didn’t really work did it? I gotta work on my word ninja skills… Maybe I will ask Mayberry to help me out here 🙂 XOXO!
drinkinpoison 